have you seen what you came to see sarcastic quote
Sarcasm is a very common natural language for advice used very oftentimes nowadays.
Beingness sarcastic is delivering a satirical remark with a touch of humor in it. It just so happens to be a great way to break the ice among friends, family, and simply nigh anyone on the street.
Many famous authors like Voltaire, Erasmus, Horace, or Alexander Pope were all well-known for their satire. The best sarcastic comments are considered to exist the ones that are not only edgeless just witty too.
Clubbed together below is a listing of some of the best sarcastic quotes. If you similar these funny sarcastic quotes, you must surely too read our [sarcastic love quotes] and sarcastic inspirational quotes.
Best Sarcastic Funny Quotes On Life
Beneath mentioned are some of the funny sarcastic quotes on how twisted life can exist. These funny sarcastic quotes are very relatable.
1. "Going to church doesn't make yous a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile."
- Billy Dominicus.
2. "Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people announced brilliant until they speak."
- Steven Wright.
three. "Insanity is hereditary; you become information technology from your children."
- Sam Levenson.
4. "I don't believe in plastic surgery but in your example, go alee."
- Anonymous.*
5. "Unless your name is Google stop interim like you know everything."
- Anonymous.*
vi. "Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the fourth dimension nosotros accept rushed through life trying to salve. "
- Will Rogers.
vii. "Some people just need a high-five. In the face up. With a chair."
- Anonymous.*
8. "At that place are only two things a child will share willingly—communicable diseases and his female parent'southward age."
- Benjamin Spock.
9. "Family ties mean that no matter how much you might want to run from your family unit, you tin't."
- Bearding.*
ten. "Mother Nature is wonderful. She gives the states twelve years to develop a honey for our children earlier turning them into teenagers."
- Eugene Bertin.
11. "My family is temperamental, half temper one-half mental."
- Anonymous.*
12. "The time you realize your kids are in bed and accept been watching The Disney channel for the by hour by yourself."
- Bearding.*
13. "Well that escalated speedily – our family unit motto."
- Anonymous.*
14. "My doctor gave me half-dozen months to live, just when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more."
- Walter Matthau.
15. "Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist."
- Michael Levine.
16. "Please submit your ideas to me today then I can submit them as my own tomorrow."
- Anonymous.*
17. "E'er be nice to your children considering they are the ones who volition choose your rest dwelling."
- Phyllis Diller.
18. "In general my children refuse to eat annihilation that hasn't danced in television receiver."
- Erma Bombeck.
19. "Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the pocketknife had butter on it."
- Rodney Dangerfield.
20. "Mutual sense and a sense of humor are the aforementioned matter, moving at unlike speeds. A sense of sense of humor is just common sense, dancing."
- William James.
21. "The bigger your family, the bigger your bug."
- Bearding.*
22. "If you lot want to call a family unit meeting - turn off the WiFi and sit in the room where it is located."
- Anonymous.*
23. "Knowing your family then well that you tin brand out who'south coming by the audio of their footsteps."
- Anonymous.*
24. "Sometimes I accept my headphones in at work with nothing playing then I don't have to interact with communicative co-workers."
- Bearding.*
25. "Repeating quotes from funny movies doesn't brand you funny."
- Anonymous.*
26. "Everything is changing. People are taking the comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke."
- Will Rogers.
27. "Yous tin can tell what was the best yr of your male parent's life, because they seem to freeze that clothing fashion and ride it out."
- Jerry Seinfeld.
28. "There are times here my greatest achievement is keeping my mouth shut."
- Anonymous.*
29. "Having a ii-year-old is like having a blender that y'all don't accept the tiptop for."
- Jerry Seinfeld.
xxx. "You know what I like about people? Their dogs."
- Anonymous.*
31. "I am not sure if I am actually complimentary or I just continue forgetting my to-do'due south."
- Anonymous.*
32. "Life is hard; it'south harder if y'all're stupid."
- John Wayne.
33. "I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage."
- Erma Bombeck.
34. "I always say 'Morning time' Instead of 'good morning' Considering if it was a good morning, I would withal exist in bed and not talking to people."
- Anonymous.*
35. "Just keep talking, I yawn when I'm interested."
- Anonymous.*
36. "If at start you lot don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There'due south no point in beingness a damn fool about it."
- W. C. Fields.
37. "People say cipher is incommunicable, but I do nothing every day."
- A. A. Milne.
38. "Don't y'all hate people who use big words just to make themselves look perspicacious?"
- Bearding.*
39. "Caller ID was invented for family screening."
- Bearding.*
40. "Life is short. Smiling while you yet have teeth."
- Anonymous.*
41. "I'1000 sad. I was listening until, out of nowhere, I became distracted by this loud, obnoxious racket that turned out to be your voice."
- Bearding.*
42. "Zombies eat brains, you lot are safe."
- John Stewart.
43. "Some are born mad, some reach madness, and some have madness thrust upon 'em."
- Emilie Fall.
44. "If you must make a noise, make information technology quietly."
- Oliver Hardy.
45. "I ship pointless emails late at dark to impress coworkers."
- Anonymous.*
46. "Family unit is a blessing. But keep proverb that when yous are irritated by something a family member does or says."
- Anonymous.*
47. "If minutes were kept of a family gathering, they would show that 'Members not Present' and 'Subjects Discussed' were one and the same. "
- Robert Brault.*
48. "Before yous judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares? He'due south a mile away and you've got his shoes!"
- Billy Connolly.
49. "When people inquire me stupid questions, information technology is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark."
- Anonymous.*
50. "I always tell new hires, 'Don't think of me every bit your dominate, retrieve of me equally a friend who can fire you.'"
- Anonymous.*
Sarcastic Inspirational Quotes
People say, "Take the grenade in order to climb your ego." No wonder it is important to sometimes hit people in the face with some strong dry sarcasm! Accept a look at these sarcastic quotes which have an inspirational bulletin to them too.
51. "The 24-hour interval my mother told me zombies eat brains, I knew I was living with ane."
- Anonymous.*
52. "My attitude in exams. They requite me questions I don't know. I give them answers they don't know."
- Anonymous.*
53. "In a household of toddlers and pets, we discover this dominion of pollex nearly happy families, that they are to the lowest degree two-thirds incontinent."
- Robert Brault.
54. "It'south an easy tool this world- but pretend like y'all know everything."
- Anonymous.*
55. "Jiu-Jitsu because choking people is illegal."
- Bearding.*
56. "One of the things that bind the states as a family unit is a shared sense of humour."
- Anonymous.*
57. "Family beloved is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive design… like bad wallpaper."
-Friedrich Nietzsche.
58. "Need money for college. Need higher for a job. Need a task for money. Who was the mastermind behind this system?"
- Anonymous.*
59. "Please abolish my subscription to your resurrection."
- Anonymous.*
lx. "In some families, 'please' is described as the magic word. In our house, however, it was 'lamentable'."
- Margaret Laurence.
61. "People say laughter is the best medicine. Your face must be curing the world."
- Anonymous.*
62. "They say each day is a gift! Well, I desire to know where client service is and then I can return this one."
- Anonymous.*
63. "I grew upwards with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance -waiting for the bathroom."
- Anonymous.*
64. "If you find me offensive. Then I suggest you quit finding me."
- Anonymous.*
65. "A prevarication gets halfway around the globe before the truth has a chance to get its pants on."
- Winston Churchill.
66. "Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else."
- Anonymous.*
67. "I'm pitiful I hurt your feelings when I called yous stupid. I really idea you lot already knew."
- Anonymous.*
68. "I went to the general store simply they wouldn't let me purchase annihilation specific."
- Steven Wright.
69. "When 1 door closes, another opens. Or you tin open the closed door. That'southward how doors work."
- Anonymous.*
seventy. "Sometimes I need what only you lot tin provide: your absence."
- Ashleigh Brilliant.
71. "If I wanted to impale myself, I would climb upwards your ego and jump to your IQ."
- Anonymous.*
72. "They say marriages are fabricated in heaven. Only so is thunder and lightning."
- Clint Eastwood.
73. "I am not young enough to know everything."
- Oscar Wilde.
74. "Please be patient, I am ruining things as fast as I can."
- Anonymous.*
75. "Keep rolling your eyes, you might just find a brain dorsum there."
- Anonymous.*
76. "For the first time e'er I was taking the family on the road. We stayed with my in-laws, which on life's list of experiences ranks correct below sitting in a tub full of scissors."
-Jeff Foxworthy.
77. "I know family comes first, but shouldn't that mean after breakfast?"
- Jeff Lindsay.
78. "Never underestimate a child'south power to go into more trouble."
- Martin Mull.
79. "If you think yous are too small to be effective, y'all accept never been in the dark with a mosquito."
- Bearding.*
80. "The informality of family life is a blest condition that allows u.s. all to become our best while looking our worst."
- Marge Kennedy.
81. "Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, telephone call it a family unit. Any you phone call it, whoever you lot are, you need one."
- Jane Howard.
82. "Family: A social unit of measurement where the father is concerned with parking infinite, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space."
- Evan Esar.
83. "I hate it when I recall I'm ownership organic vegetables merely when I get habitation, I notice they're just regular donuts."
- Anonymous.*
84. "Never let an angry sister comb your hair."
- Patricia McCann.
85. "When something goes wrong in your life, just yell 'Plot Twist' and move on."
- Anonymous.*
86. "I remixed a remix, it was back to normal."
- Mitch Hedberg.
87. "Sad for the mean, atrocious, and accurate things I said."
- Anonymous.*
88. "Sarcasm helps me overcome the harshness of the reality we live, eases the pain of scars and makes people grin."
– Mahmoud Darwish.
89. "An apple a day keeps anything abroad if you throw it hard enough."
- Anonymous.*
90. "Ever carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always conduct a small snake."
- W. C. Fields.
91. "New Twelvemonth's Resolution: Casual promises that I am under no legal obligation to fulfill."
- Anonymous.*
92. "All of the states have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpeting is one of them."
- Erma Bombeck.
93. "My level of sarcasm has gotten to a point where I don't even know if I am kidding anymore."
- Anonymous.*
94. "I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single give-and-take of what I am saying."
- Oscar Wilde.
95. "I realized my family unit was funny because nobody ever wanted to exit our business firm."
- Anthony Anderson.
96. "The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound similar a 5-yr-old."
- Jean Kerr.
97. "We are all born crazy. Some of u.s.a. remain that way."
- Samuel Beckett.
98. "Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them circular to dinner."
- Douglas Adams.
99. "Honesty may be the all-time policy, but insanity is the best defence."
- Anonymous.*
All-time Witty Sarcastic Quotes
"My boss used to be my star but then I realized that people appear brilliant until they speak." Funny sarcastic quotes like this are brilliant. Beneath are some of the best sarcastic quotes to make you lot laugh hard.
100. "Folks, I don't trust children. They're hither to replace us."
- Stephen Colbert.
101. "Few mistakes can be made by a mother-in-constabulary who is willing to babysit."
-Anonymous.*
102. "All the men in my family were disguised, and most of the women."
- Anonymous.*
103. "My uncle'south dying wish – he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electrical chair."
- Rodney Dangerfield.
104. "If yous want to modify the world, do it while y'all're single. One time you lot're married y'all tin can't even change the TV Channel."
- Anonymous.*
105. "If you lot e'er start feeling similar you take the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to practice is get to a state fair. Considering five minutes at the fair, y'all'll be going, 'you lot know, nosotros're alright. Nosotros are dang nearly royalty."
- Jeff Foxworthy.
106. "At every party, there are two kinds of people – those who want to go home and those who don't. The problem is, they are ordinarily married to each other."
- Ann Landers.
107. "An optimist thinks that this is the best possible earth. A pessimist fears that this is true."
– Robert Oppenheimer.
108. "The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along then well is that they have a common enemy."
- Sam Levenson.
109. "Watching your girl existence collected past her appointment feels like handing over a million-dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla."
- Jim Bishop.
110. "We yet lend our sometime house out to our relatives. They keep a guest book for my fans to sign."
- Anonymous.*
111. "Truthful bonding is when you and your friends are all angry about the same matter."
- Bearding.
112. "Existence role of a family means smiling for photos."
- Harry Morgan.
113. "If you lot cannot go rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it trip the light fantastic."
- George Bernard Shaw.
114. "It's amazing how you can have to worst twenty-four hour period ever, but yet laugh at yourself when you button a door that says pull."
- Anonymous.*
115. "I love all genres. The simply thing I get stymied by is the Family Drama. I don't necessarily know how to arroyo that."
- Joss Whedon.
116. "You never realize how truly sarcastic you are until yous take a mini-me who acts the same way."
- Anonymous.*
117. "A family without a black sheep is non a typical family."
- Heinrich Boll.
118. "Come here yous large, beautiful loving cup of java and prevarication to me about how much we're going to get done today."
- Anonymous.*
119. "Nobody actually cares if you lot're miserable, so you might as well be happy."
– Cynthia Nelms.
120. "I recall the family is the place where the almost ridiculous and least respectable things in the world become on."
- Ugo Betti.
121. "You lot cannot choose your family but you can cull to ignore their phone calls."
- Bearding.*
122. "The road to success is e'er under construction."
- Lily Tomlin
123. "I enjoy slaughtering beasts and I call back of my relatives constantly."
- Roger Zelazny.
124. "My neighbor'southward diary says that I have boundary bug."
- Anonymous.*
125. "Crocodiles are piece of cake. They effort to impale and eat y'all. People are harder. Sometimes they pretend to be your friend beginning."
- Steve Irwin.
126. "For the first time ever I was taking the family on the road. We stayed with my in-laws, which on life's list of experiences ranks right beneath sitting in a tub full of scissors."
- Jeff Foxworthy.
127. "I don't e'er tolerate stupid people. But when I do, I'thou probably at work."
- Anonymous.*
128. "At that place's no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful homo who didn't tell yous about it?"
- Kin Hubbard.
129. "If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll impale yous."
- Baton Wilder.
130. "I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying."
- Woody Allen.
131. "Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit! Yet it remains the funniest."
- Oscar Wilde.
132. "Y'all've got to be very careful if you don't know where you are going, because you might not become there."
- Yogi Berra.
133. "What practise people do with all the extra fourth dimension they salve by writing 'k' instead of 'ok'?"
- Anonymous.*
134. "Some family trees deport an enormous crop of nuts."
- Wayne H.
135. "Sarcasm is the secret linguistic communication that anybody uses when they want to say something mean to your confront."
- Anonymous.*
136. "Having a child makes you a parent; having two, you are a referee."
- David Frost.
137. "One-half the world is composed of idiots, the other half of people clever enough to take indecent reward of them."
- Walter Kerr.
138. "As a child my family unit'southward carte du jour consisted of two choices: take it or leave it."
- Buddy Hackett.
139. "Don't error my efficiency equally pregnant I want to do your job, too."
- Bearding.*
140. "I have a theory of relatives, likewise. Don't hire them."
- Jack Fifty Warner.
141. "Silence is golden. Duct tape is argent."
- Bearding.*
142. "I'grand not saying I hate you, what I'm proverb is that you are literally the Mon of my life."
- Bearding.*
143. "I think a dysfunctional family is whatever family with more than than one person in it."
-Mary Karr.
144. "Family dear is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive design, like bad wallpaper."
- Friedrich Nietzsche.
145. "The four almost cute words in our mutual language: I told yous so."
- Gore Vidal.
146. "There'southward no amend vacation than my boss existence on holiday."
- Anonymous.*
147. "If you ran as much equally your oral fissure did y'all'd be in good shape"
- Bearding.*
148. "I haven't even gone to bed still and I already tin't await to come abode from work tomorrow."
- Anonymous.*
149. "We get married to take an marry against our family unit."
- Jonathan Tropper.
150. "A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished."
- Zsa Zsa Gabor.
Funny Sarcastic Quotes About Family
Funny sarcastic quotes like "They will stop request where the pie is if you stop acting like you know where it is" are spring to be a hit with the family. Below are some of the more than sly sarcastic quotes to make you express mirth out loud.
151. "Children actually can brighten up a house, because they never plough the lights off."
- Anonymous.*
152. "Please abolish my subscription to your issues."
- Bearding.*
153. "All of usa have moments in our lives that test our courage."
- Erma Bombeck.
154. "Thank you for calling me to tell me that you just sent me an email."
- Anonymous.*
155. "Relatives are the worst friends, said the play a joke on as the dogs took after him."
- Danish saying.
156. "The great advantage of living in a large family is that early on lesson of life'south essential unfairness."
- Anonymous.*
157. "A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself and hates them for information technology."
- George Bernard Shaw.
158. "Bleeding ulcers run in my family: We give them to each other."
-Lois McMaster Bujold.
159. "Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city."
- George Burns.
160. "Teenagers, are you tired of beingness harassed by your stupid parents? Act now. Movement out, get a job, and pay your ain bills–while you even so know everything."
- John Hinde.
161. "From the ages of 8-eighteen, me and my family moved around a lot. More often than not we would just stretch, but occasionally one of u.s. would really get up to become to the fridge."
- Jarod Kintz.
162. "Nil in life is fun for the whole family. There are no massage parlors with water ice foam and free jewelry."
- Jerry Seinfeld.
163. "Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops."
- Cary Grant.
164. "When our relatives are at dwelling, we accept to think of all their good points or information technology would be impossible to endure them."
- George Bernard Shaw.
165. "Never guess someone by their relatives."
- Charles Martin.
166. "Nothing like watching your relatives fight, I always say."
- Rick Riordan.
167. "The advantage of growing up with siblings is that you become very good at fractions."
- Anonymous.*
168. "Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family unit in some other city."
- George Burns.
169. "Every family has that one crazy person in it. If you're missing one I seem to have a few extras."
- Bearding.*
170. "No matter how old a female parent is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement."
-Maxwell.
171. "It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas in social club to exist unhappy."
- Groucho Marx.
172. "Posterity is the patriotic proper name for grandchildren."
- Art Linkletter.
173. "In the family sandwich, the older people and the younger ones tin recognize one another every bit the bread. Those in the center are, for a time, the meat."
- Anna Quindlen.
174. "To maintain a blithesome family requires each member of the family has to get, in a special manner, the retainer of the others."
- Pope John Paul Two.
175. "The smashing souvenir of family life is to be intimately acquainted with people you might never even introduce yourself to, had life not washed it for you."
- Kendall Hailey.
176. "Let'south have a family unit gathering for the remaining family members who however talk to each other."
- Anonymous.*
177. "When I was ten, my family moved to Downer's Grove, Illinois. When I was twelve, I found them."
-Emo Phillips.
178. "Siblings: Children of the same parents, each of whom is perfectly normal until they gather."
- Sam Levenson.
179. "Your basic extended family today includes your ex-husband or -wife, your ex'southward new mate, your new mate, possibly your new mate'south ex, and any new mate that your new mate'due south ex has acquired."
- Delia Ephron.
180. "Sometimes, my family becomes the strangest family on Earth."
- Anonymous.*
181. "The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out his nose."
- Garrison Keillor.
182. "I had no claret relatives til I made some"
- Andy Dick.
183. "That's why they call it the American Dream because you take to exist comatose to believe it."
- George Carlin.
184. "Lots of people in my own family unit were crazy, then I felt a special closeness with them and wanted to learn how to assist them."
- Edward 1000. Hallowell.
185. "Children are a keen comfort in your old age-and they assistance you attain it faster, too."
- Lionel Kauffman.
186. "The other dark I ate at a real nice family eating house. Every tabular array had an argument going."
-George Carlin.
187. "My family would brand Dr. Phil need a therapist."
- Bearding.*
188. "The advantage of having only one child is that you always know who did it."
- Erma Bombeck.
189. "Family is like that annoying itch yous tin't scratch."
- Anonymous.*
190. "Crazy is a relative term in my family!"
- Anonymous.*
191. "When I dice, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming similar all the passengers in his car."
-Will Rogers.
192. "Plain, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the terminal people I would introduce him to would exist my family."
-Chelsea Handler
193. "Fate chooses our relatives, we cull our friends."
- Jacques Delille
194. "A family is a unit composed not merely of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold."
- Anonymous.*
195. "In my family unit, crazy doesn't skip a generation."
- Anonymous.*
196. "No one likes alter but babies in diapers."
- Barbara Johnson.
197. "If you don't believe in ghosts, yous've never been to a family unit reunion."
- Ashleigh Brilliant.
198. "Having children is like living in a frat business firm—nobody sleeps, everything'south broken, and there'due south a lot of throwing up."
- Ray Romano.
199. "To encourage my trivial kid to eat something, I'd sometimes say- Just pretend it's sand."
-Bearding.*
200. "Habitation, present, is a identify where office of the family waits till the rest of the family brings the car dorsum."
- Anonymous.*
*Practice you know where this quote originated? Delight electronic mail us to permit us know at [e-mail protected]
Here at Kidadl, we take carefully created lots of interesting family-friendly quotes for everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for Sarcastic Quotes, then why non take a await at snarky quotes, or ironic quotes?
Source: https://kidadl.com/quotes/sarcastic-quotes-that-will-make-all-families-laugh
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